Rebecca, Lady Cygnet (ladycygnet) wrote in the_poetry_room,
Rebecca, Lady Cygnet

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Trust Among the Ruins

I stick my head in the oven for no one
And I try to guard my heart
With the vigilance of one who knows pain...

Yet I love, and I love
I love and I trust and I hope
But then when it flies away from me
Like a a sparrow in my heart

My body drops, heavy and hard
Onto the pavement, where I look up
The stars twinkle as I lay dying
All the old fears coming back
Stabbing and jabbing
Spreading apart my thighs
Raping my vulnerability
With thrust after thrust of truth
Playing on disjointed thought
Flaying away trust
With every crack of the leather
Burning against my skin
Tearing it open
My essence spread out beneath me

Frightened, frightened, darling
How can I trust after so long?
How much pain can consume one heart?
How can I have faith in a God
Who allows me and mine
To suffer as we have?

Scourged, discouraged, sobbing
I offer myself up to you
Bared in every way
To be used and abused
You will be my God
And I will be your people
My body is your temple
My heart is your altar
Burn your sacrifices upon me
--I cannot run away

Hold me, please--
I am scared and scarred
And wanting so much to believe you
And that all things
Will turn out the best
For all concerned

And so the rhyme is gone
The structure crumbles
Meter? We don't need no stinkin' meter!
The verse is as disjointed
As one crushed beneath a falling wall
Broken bones
Broken skin
Broken heart

Yet I am ever Fancy's fool
And hope in things unseen
Hoping, not for happy endings
But for happy beginnings
And a peaceful end
A day far from now

And so it begins again
Life, death, birth, growth
A wheel ever turning
What is secret is revealed
In time, time...

It is still a season of miracles...

(C)RLO 8/1/05

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